Back on the Scene

It has been 4 months since I last felt the desire to blog. There was so much going on in my life....I felt obligated to post daily...and I just needed a break. Whew!

Well, needless to say I am here again. The concept of this blog is dear to me because I feel like "ReInvented Chick" so easily sums up who I am. I realize now that I do want to blog and will continue to do so if and when I please...no pressure.

To give an update on what I have been up to since December 2009...first I went to South Carolina for 10 days during Christmas to visit family. I had a wonderful time and felt refreshed but was more than ready to come home.

Kicking off 2010..it has been a great year so far. I am happy and my child is happy...it doesn't get any better than that. One thing I had noticed about myself was that I was sleeping so good at night. The weird thing was that nothing had changed...not my mattress, sheets, location of my bed...then my dad pointed out that it was because I was truly happy. I wake up feeling refreshed and stress free and for anyone who knows what I have been through in recent years this is amazing.

Other changes were that I became active in a graduate chapter of my sorority after being MIA for about 10 years, joined a professional HR organization and began studying for a certification to advance my career, and I met a man...yes, a man ya'll.

Meeting the man was the last thing on my mind and it's been fairly recent so I don't want to say a whole lot about him just yet, but after 2 1/2 years of living the single life this is exciting.

This post is longer than I intended but I wish happiness and peace to anyone who happens to come across this blog.

Be Blessed,

ReInvented Chick

A Thankful Heart

A couple of weeks ago I ran across a devotional from Joyce Meyer that really resonated with me and I thought I would share. I have been guilty of constantly wanting new things. It's not that I'm not thankful for what I have, it's just that I always want more or to upgrade what I have. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful and recognize that I am extremely blessed to be able to take care of myself and my daughter comfortably and with no stress...because it was not always like that. I just get anxious about the material things that I want in life. At any rate, this devotional was refreshing and a reality check and I thought someone might need the same:

A Thankful Heart

Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.
— Philippians 4:6

Years ago I taught a message saying that when you ask God for something, you should thank Him ahead of time that you are going to get it because that will help release your manifestation. I believe that. I took the scripture above to mean just that, that when I prayed for something, I should start thanking God that it was on its way. But one day God revealed a broader scope of that verse to me. He said, "No, what I am really saying there is that when you pray and petition Me for anything, make sure you are doing it from a foundation of a thankful heart." Then He went on to say, "If you are not thankful for what you already have, why should I give you more to complain about?"

~ Joyce Meyer

Back to the Weekly Grind

So this past weekend was a good one. Fun and relaxing.

Friday night I got together with the family for my mother's annual "tree-trimming" party. It's where we get together to put up her Christmas tree and all of her other random decorations. There's always food, alcohol, and music, and she uses this time to pull out old pictures from our childhood...report cards, hand-made gifts, first pair of shoes...you get the picture. We had so much fun and it really got me in the Christmas spirit.

At the party we had the one of the R&B channels playing and everything that played brought back memories...SWV, Xscape, Montell Jordan...all music from my teenage years. Needless to say, the tree is beautiful even though we had to convince my mother to lay off some of the ornaments. She has collected them over my lifetime and the tree was so full we thought it might literally tip over. It left me feeling like I needed to invest a little more time in my own tree.

On Saturday, I shopped. I dragged my brother to one store in particular because their ad advertised a doorbuster deal that was over at 1PM. Well, we get there and of course the deal is too good to be true and ended up being a lot smaller than how it appeared in the ad. I finished shopping, went home to nap, and spent the rest of the evening with my family.

Today was more family time, then I had to get home to do my usual Sunday routine of getting ready for the work week...washing my hair, my daughter's hair, laundry, groceries, getting clothes ready for the week, etc. I'm sure that I could and probably should do some of this on Saturday to get it out of the way because every Sunday night feels like I am on a mission to get all of these things done and get to bed at a decent time. At least I got a couple of gifts for Camryn wrapped. I can't wait to see her face on Christmas day!

Wishing all a happy work week!

It's Almost 2010!

I cannot believe this year has gone by so quickly. It has been a good year with a lot of things to be thankful for. Let's see, I freed myself of car loan debt, landed a new job, turned 3-0, and celebrated two years of motherhood.

On a quieter note, I shed 10 pounds that I had been trying to lose since I had my daughter.

So to end the year on a high note, I have a couple of goals that I plan to meet by December 31. To reach them would put the icing on the cake for 2009.

1. Pay off the last $150 or so of my credit card. I will then officially be credit card/consumer debt free.

2. Lose 8 pounds. This would be absolutely outstanding and put me back within range of what I weighed before becoming pregnant. Notice I said "within range" LOL.

3. Add 5% to my emergency fund. By the end of 2010, I plan to have fully funded this account.

I have been thinking about these goals all day and think I like having short term goals to focus on. Normally I only set annual goals at the beginning of each year...but my attention span is so short that I sometimes forget what it is that I am working toward. I think in 2010, I will begin setting shorter monthly goals to help me stay focused.

Overall, this year has been about becoming my best me. I've come so far but I know that there are still areas that I need to foster and grow.

Let's get it!

How Many Kids Should You Have?

On Saturday, there was an interesting post on MSN about having children. See article here.

It made me think about my own desires when it comes to having children. Honestly, I have always felt like I wanted more children than I was willing or able to have. That was before baby.

Now that I have a child, I think more about the financial impact and time sacrifices that you must make to raise a child. Daycare - $600 per month, Time - Never ending. And while these sacrifices are well worth it, the freedom of child-free adults is never lost on me.

I always find myself torn between having a big family with lots of grandchildren and great grandchildren when I get older or just being content with my one super sweet baby girl. I love the relationship that I have with her and the fact that I have had the time and energy to enjoy so many moments in her development...but on the flip side I think about her growing up with no siblings. To me, when you have a sibling, you are never alone and always have a best friend in the world no matter what. I know that all sibling relationships are not like this but my family has always been pretty close and I would expect the same for her.

One thing is for sure though, I will not ever, never, ever consider having another baby unless I meet Mr. Right and get married. One baby daddy is more than enough and if love doesn't come my way before the 'ole biological clock ticks it's last tick, then more children just won't be an option for me.

That's the thing about my life. There are so many choices to be made and yet so many things that you cannot predict or happen by chance.

This Too Shall Pass

Yesterday I was in "one of my moods" as my mother would say. I was agitated and grumpy all day and my daughter was driving me crazy. She was just being her normal wild, silly self but yesterday I kept having to exhale and pray to God for patience to deal with her.

I feel this way from time to time and it's usually for no reason in particular. I start thinking about all the things that I want... repeat...I want in life that I do not currently have, everything in my life that is not ideal, what I thought I would/would not be doing at this age...you get the picture. Now I fully realize that it is nothing but the devil creeping into my thoughts and that the feeling passes quickly, but it is still hell getting through the day.

Well, needless to say I am over it and today was much better. I am back to my usual care-free happy go lucky self. I having been doing chores throughout the day and even managed to put up my Christmas tree. Today was the first year that Camryn was able to help and she really enjoyed hanging ornaments on the tree. It was so cute to see her deciding where to hang each little ball and of course all of hers ended up in the same spot...at the bottom of the tree to the right. It's moments like this that bring me back to reality and appreciate my circumstance.

Happy workweek all!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am sitting here at work counting down the time until I get off and officially start my holiday. Most people are out of the office today and I myself have not gotten a whole lot done.

I love this time of year. It's always been my time to relax and spend time with family...Lots of food, laughter, and a little alcohol.

I'll keep it short today. Best wishes to all. And lest not forget all that we have to be thankful for.

Be Blessed!

You Never Know What's In Store

As we approach the end of the year, I have been thinking back to where I was a year ago. At this time last year I was newly unemployed with absolutely no job prospects in sight. This was during the time that all you heard about on the news was how X company laid off 15,000 employees or how 600,00 jobs were lost this month. The outlook was so grim and in my case I was a single mom (still am), unemployed, and had to figure out how to manage through all of it.

For whatever reason, I knew in my heart that everything would be alright. Some of my co-workers who had managed to keep their jobs expressed concern for me, which I appreciate and of course understood, and some even asked if I had considered moving back home with my mother, which I had not.

I knew that God had already delivered me from a tough circumstance about 4 months earlier and just felt that going back down that road was not what he had in store for me. I had been in debt and struggling to pay my daughter's $600/month childcare expense. I fell into the category of making too much to qualify for daycare assistance but not enough to really afford it. At the time of my layoff, that situation was already behind me and I felt in my heart that it was time for a blessing...

And that is exactly what I got.

First, my company offered me a nice severance package and allowed me to draw unemployment at the same time. I had already withdrawn my daughter from daycare because I was now at home, so that expense had already gone away. This meant that for the first few months I had more money than what I would have had if I was working. Who would have ever thought that being unemployed could be financially beneficial LOL.

Secondly, I was at home with my daughter each and every day. Looking back I am so thankful for the time that we had together over those months.

And lastly, once I returned to work I was able to land a new job in my career field. I had always planned that once I stopped working for the HR consulting firm that I would pursue a job as a Compensation Analyst in the general industry and that is exactly where I landed.

The point of this story my friends is to never doubt the power of God and the blessings and plan that he has in store for you.

Be Blessed!

Note: this post was initially planned to be about being happy where you are, but once I started to write it just went in a totally different direction. I'll circle back to the original post at a later time.

The Past is Exactly That...The Past

And there is not one day that you can change about it.

I have not written or spoken much about the emotional aftermath of my relationship with my daughter's father...I've been putting on a strong face (who am I kidding)...but I am writing about it today because it is something that crosses my mind frequently.

I do a pretty good job of not dwelling on it for the most part, but for some reason I always find my mind wandering back down that road when I am driving. Mainly it's things like: what did I see in him, why was I so crazy in love with him, why did I stay with him and put up with so much...

It's a strange dichotomy because on the one hand I am thankful to have my daughter and I know that if I had never met and dated him I wouldn't have her...but on the other hand I am like WTF was I thinking, and my mother would gladly chime in to say the same. There are so many things now - I'll call them warning signs - that I would recognize immediately, like:

• When he doesn't have cable because he owes a past due bill and his cell phone is disconnected every month, I wouldn't think 'Oh he's just getting himself together'...the wiser me would back away and wait for him to actually do so before entering a relationship. We could be friends, he just couldn't be my man.
• When he is sleeping on an air mattress for the first 9 months of your relationship, well...same answer as above
• When he constantly calls you and wants all of your time, I wouldn't think 'He's just really into me'... the wiser me would recognize that this guy probably has control issues and can't handle not being your whole world. Oh, and lest not forget that he probably doesn't have a whole lot going on for himself.
• When he dogs his ex to no end, from poor hygiene to being immature, and blames the failure of their relationship totally on her, the wiser me would know that this guy doesn't understand what it means to be accountable.
• And lastly, when he doesn't trust anyone...anyone...not mother, sister, or childhood friend, the wiser me would know that there's a slim to nil chance that he will ever trust me.

These are just a few nuggets of wisdom that I have had to learn the hard way. When I first started this blog, I wanted the tone to be 'happy, happy, joy, joy' so I didn't really want to go there, but in my time away I have decided that I will write about exactly what I am feeling and/or experiencing in the moment. I have to be authentic about my current state of mind...it is what it is.
I know that I'm not the only person to feel a certain way and who knows what impact my story might have on another.

Take care all and be blessed. And remember, your past does not define you (so stop beating yourself up) nor does it dictate your future.

Daycare Blues

For the second time in a month both my daughter and I are sick with colds that she brought home from the daycare. Her nose has been runny for the last 3 days and my throat hurts like hell.
Frickin daycare!!!

5 Things I Heart About My Life

1. That motherhood has brought a joy to my life that I never knew I was missing. Camryn really is a wonderful child.

2. That despite mishaps and lack of direction in college, I was still blessed with a great, well-paying career and one that even rivals that of some of my fellow college friends that did everything "right" the first time.

3. That I have an amazing family that loves me, is supportive, and is always good for a laugh.

4. That I can do it on my own.

5. That I'm either really naive or crazy optimistic but I really do believe that the future has great things in store for me (see my post on Success).

Life is Good!

I Just Want to Be Successful...

I love this song...I could do without the reference to hoes...but I still love it.

Success is always on my mind. I'm college-educated and in a career field that pays well over time. On the flip side of that, I am also a single mother doing it completely on my own. In most cases, I ignore statistics because I know that they can be heavily manipulated, but it is always a nagging thought in the back of my mind that something like 70% of children living in single parent homes live in poverty.

True or not, it's all the motivation I need.

And everyone has their own definition of success, but for me it means advancing in my career (my goal is to become a Compensation Director), owning a home, being financially stable (the six month emergency fund, 700+ credit, and funding my daughter's college savings plan), and having the money to travel and splurge on some of the things that I want in life.

I spent all of today thinking about these things. When will I begin graduate school? MBA or JD? I have a slight interest in possibly working in employment law. What will my FICO score be in six months? Where should I keep my emergency fund money and exactly how much should it be?

Sometimes this drives me crazy. At 30, I think that I am on the right track. There is no doubt in my mind that I will achieve my goals, it's just a matter of when and how rocky the road will be.

Options & Expiration Dates

At this point in my life everything, with the exception of family, is OPTIONAL.

I think about the fact that I quite possibly have another 30-40 years, if not more, of living to do. That's a long time and it's long enough to let me know that I want to do what I can to be happy over these upcoming years.

What does that mean?

First I need to end toxic friendships. I have a friend who is funny and great to hang out with, but when it comes to other things in our relationship, she really is dead weight. She asks for money and/or help in ridiculous situations and she is really not someone that I feel I can trust or who would even be there for me if I needed her...so what' s the point.

I'm currently single so I don't have any toxic relationships to worry about. But the other thing is getting past things that have happened in the past. No matter how much I try and how much I love my daughter, I still find myself wondering how I ended up in such a dead end relationship with a man who would later become a dead beat dad. Why did I not have the foresight to see this. Hindsight is 20/20 and looking back he clearly showed signs of the man that he is today. I guess I just had my rose-colored glasses on...Supertight...But my point is, at this point, why should I worry about situations that happened years ago. Ten years from now will it even matter?

I'm just going through a mode in my life where I feel like 'Out with the old and in with the new'. Everything is up for evaluation and it's a cleansing of sorts for me and ultimately what will continue to bring happiness and joy to my life.

My Fabulous Weekend

For no reason in particular....

My 9 year old niece has been here visiting for the summer and I had an amazing time hanging out with her over the past couple of days. It is not often that I get to see her, let alone hang out, and it was just great to be able to put a smile on her face. We shopped, ate, went to Gattiland, and shopped some more.

On Saturday morning, we headed to Tennessee so that we could meet her grandparents, my aunt and uncle, at the half way point between Kentucky and South Carolina so that she could go back home. We met in the early afternoon, had lunch, then parted ways. Don't ask why, but I was super excited to see my aunt and uncle together....they have been divorced for nearly 25 years and I have always hoped that they'd get back together again...this trip was strictly business though...or at least as far as we knew.

After we parted ways, my cousin and I decided to go to the local outlets. We were already near the Gatlinburg area, a tourist resort in the Smoky Mountains, and the outlet mall there is fantastic. They have a little bit of everything and we really just wanted to check out what stores were there and do some quick shopping. In the usual fashion, I walked out with something for my baby and nothing for me.

Today, I grocery shopped with my mother, both of us with coupons in hand, and just spent time with her and my brother for the rest of the day. They are always good for laughs and a great time.

To top the weekend off, I spent nearly two hours on the phone catching up with my original BFF from high school. We hadn't spoken in about 6 or 7 years and it was great to pick up where we left off.

So while nothing major happened this weekend, it really was fabulous. Now it's back to the weekly grind.

A Passion For Fullness

Yesterday I went to Church for the first time in a minute.

I woke up that morning and just felt the need to be in the House of the Lord. So my daughter and I got dressed and headed out.

They say the Lord works in mysterious ways and that day he knew that I needed to hear this message by this pastor at this church. It was about having a passion for fullness and becoming ready to live on a higher level.

The pastor spoke about knowing God for yourself and how as you get closer to God you get farther away from who you used to be, ultimately becoming a new man. He also talked about how God can lift you, change you, and make you new once you seek him.

The sermon resonated with me so deeply because it reflects what I am striving to do in this next decade of my life. It's what the idea for my blog is based on and what I think about all the time - becoming anew, learning new things, having new experiences, and becoming my best person, hence reinvented.

Of course, I boo hooed throughout the sermon as usual, but felt good.

Spiritually, at this point in my life I am learning to lean on God. You hear people say 'Let go and let God' all the time but it's easier said than done. I pray each night just before I go to sleep and so far this has helped to provide clarity and direction on my new path. I will definitely be going on a more regular basis so I'll keep you posted.

Big things I tell ya...big things at 30!

And just as an update, my roller wrap turned out beautifully and will definitely be what I'm rocking for the moment in order to keep heat away from my hair.

Today I Am Officially 30...

And thankful for it.

It's been a great weekend so far - dinner and clubbin' with my girlfriends on Friday night, then dinner and hanging out with the family...Perfect for me.

Looking back, I have accomplished some of the goals that were most important to me:

- graduating from college

- establishing a career

- becoming a mother

But you never want to rest on your laurels...Here are some of my goals for this next chapter in my life.

This year:

- get in shape...seriously. The older you get the harder it is so I want to tackle this issue now instead of still talking about it 5 years later.

- establish an emergency fund...just in case. I haven't always done well with saving so I really need to get serious about it. With this economy and the fact that I am responsible for another human being I need to ensure that I am prepared for the unexpected.

- look into having my tattoo removed

- prepare to return to graduate school once I am eligible for tuition reimbursement at my job

- get back on the dating scene

5 years:

- purchase a home
- get married...keeping my fingers crossed
- travel to Europe (London, Germany, France, Italy) and take a Caribbean cruise
- move into a management role in my career field

Lifetime:

- be with the love of my life
- experience Camryn grow up to be an intelligent, God fearing, generous, hardworking woman of integrity and character...I'm trying ya'll
- have grandchildren
- take annual family vacations
- be financially free

These are my goals and prayers...

Three Dresses and a Skirt

It may not sound like much to you...but for me, it represents a turning point in my life.

I spent most of my 20's shunning dresses and skirts. Why...I'm not quite sure but it's the truth. A good pair of jeans or black pants (to minimize the curves) were staples for me and I sported them without fail.

And I don't know if the change happened when I had Camryn or as I got closer to 30, but now I absolutely love them!

I love the femininity that a beautiful dress gives you. Or a skirt that shows just enough thigh to be subtly sexy. Pair them with a great perfume and cute stilettos and you're ready to do the damn thing.

And I know that I only have three dresses and one skirt right now but I'm working on it. Matter of fact, I tried on 3 others today that I liked...but I'll have to wait until my funds are right on that one. A girl does have bills to pay!

You know this is really not just about a skirt or a dress. It's about personal growth and coming into who you are. The fact that I only wore pants was not because I loved them, but because I was limiting myself and not exploring all that was available to me. At this point in my life, I am wise enough to see it for what it is and I realize now that when Oprah said 'Live Your Best Life,' she was really onto something.

Bottom line - if you are still doing the same thing that you were doing 5 years ago, 10 years ago...there's a problem. Reinvent yourself and become anew.

You Must...

While I am still very much a work in progress, there are a few things that I have learned in my three decades on this earth. I have learned that you must:

- learn how to take life one day at a time...appreciating each new beginning and thankful for each end

- accept that each day is unique, filled with challenges and opportunities

- forget the bad and embrace the good

- gain wisdom from every experience (ALWAYS get the lesson)

- be yourself (whomever that may be)

Most important of all - love deeply, live freely, and laugh often

Life is Too Long to Be Unhappy

So as I get closer to entering my 30th year of life, there have been a lot of things on my mind.

I've had the past few months to think about the things that matter most to me: family, Camryn, friends, my career, financial stability, my relationship with Christ, and giving back/interacting with my community.

Part of my goal in making this next decade of my life a happy one is to focus on these things...some are already in order and there's room for improvement in others.

Either way, the prospect of taking control of my happiness is exciting.

Keep Ya Head Up

The world can be a really tough place these days.

I have a dear friend that is going through the most extreme of hardships right now...so much so that I struggle to find words of encouragement to lift her spirit.

Everything...I mean everything in her life is coming apart at once.

And sometimes things can get so bad in life that people just don't want to hear "everything will work itself out" or "everything is going to be okay"...in that moment it is not enough.

I have been through a rough time or two myself but nothing to this extent...so I try my best to be an open ear of support and be there in any way that I can to help her get through this.

It's all that I can do.

Ultimately I know that at some point things will turn around. She can only go up from here but for her sake, it needs to come sooner (and I mean soon) rather than later.